Teaching Responsibility Eliminates Your Frustration

Prevent the last minute cries of “Mom I need…”

Tired of your son telling you he needs his uniform washed the morning of his game? Or your daughter telling you she needs a display board for science class tomorrow, the day you are going out of town. Or child number three tells you in the car on the way to school he needs money for his book order?

Establish a “Mom I Need” board and post it where you will all see it regularly. We post ours in the pantry on the freezer. When the kids need tennis shoes for basketball, pants hemmed, money for a field trip, or anything else, they post it on the “Mom I Need” board along with the date they need it. When I’m going to run errands, I check the board and see if there are things I need to pick up when I’m out shopping. This way too, the kids can’t ask last minute and expect it to happen in their favor.

Post a grocery list, Sam’s club or Cosco, and Target list on the fridge or a place where your family will all see it and can post their needs. If they use the last of any grocery item, they learn to list it on the grocery list or know they won’t have it next time they want it. When the copy paper for the printer is low, they list it on the Sam’s Club list. When they run out of their soap, batteries, hair spray and so on, they list it on the Target list. Tell your kids the day before you’ll be running errands so they check the list one last time to add any other items they know they need or the family needs.

It takes some time to get everyone in the habit of using these lists, but it does work. Even our nine year old will ask which list he needs to put his shampoo on when he runs out. It’s been a benefit to his spelling too because he asks how to spell the items he wants on the lists. As our teenagers are driving more and more, they often take the lists and run the errands for me.

Teach your childen to be responsible for their needs and you'll eliminate the last minute "Mom I need..." cries!

© 2008 Anne Nelson, Joy Zone, LLC

Parenting Pays Off!

Well the winds have shifted in the world of parenthood in our home. Child number two, 14 year old Ellen is a nanny for a couple children who haven’t grown up with many household rules, restrictions, or manners. I picked her up from work yesterday and it was all I could do not to laugh as she poured out her frustrations on the way home.

“First Daniel was spitting at the table. Then he picked a fight with Emily. And like when they went out to play they went to a neighbor’s house and I couldn’t find them. I finally found them and was so mad I told them they had to help clean the house. Mom, it was like there was stuff everywhere and they kept saying they didn’t see anything that needed picking up. And Emily walked right by a pile of her toys and didn’t even see it. Mom, they have had no expectations of them by their parents! Now I get why you and Dad had rules and expectations of us.”

And the story went on and on. By the time we got home she had unloaded every moment of the day that the children should have behaved differently and how her Dad and I would never have tolerated that in our home. The amazing last words she said as she got out of the car were “I always thought when I become a parent I wouldn’t have all the rules you and Dad do. Ha, not anymore, I get why you and Dad have rules. And I’m glad too.”

When I dropped her off at work today, the kids were outside riding their bikes. As soon as the kids saw her coming they ditched their bikes and grabbed their helmets. Guess she’s making them live by a few rules now.

All those parenting moments when I could have screamed, and okay, the times I did scream I really wondered if my kids would ever get it. And now, she has.