Naïve No More

I’m a strong believer in positive thinking, getting what you focus on, and choosing not to see the negative in every situation. I do however, believe in awareness. Being an aware parent in particular. If you have pre-teens or teenagers, you can’t afford to be naive and unaware of what your teens may be exposed to. Teenagers need you to be aware of what is happening in their world.

Before my daughter entered high school a girlfriend and I were having lunch when she shared with me things to be aware of that happen in high schools. She proceeded to tell me farm parties are not about being in the country in a barn like the barn dance I held in ninth grade. Pharm parties are when kids get pharmaceutical drugs from their parents cupboards, their grandparents medications, their own Ritalin meds, and mix them all in a bowl. Then they take turns taking “shots” with pills, sometimes following with shots of alcohol. It’s Russian roulette and it’s unbelievable and scary as a parent to think kids would do it.

I asked a small group of sophomores if they knew what a pharm party was. They did, and then proceeded to tell me that kids don’t wait for party, they swap all kinds of medications right at school. Many brag about the fact that they are on Ritalin.

At breakfast with a friend whose daughter just entered junior high, I found myself telling her what Pharm parties and Dusting are. Dusting is when kids inhale from a can of compressed air, used to dust a computer keyboard, and it’s becoming the new drug of choice for the younger teens. It would never have occurred to me to inhale the contents of an aerosol can, but kids today are doing it. It’s equally as dangerous as mixing medications because the chemicals in the aerosol can give a euphoric feeling the first time, tempting a teen into doing it again; or it’ll result in brain damage, or worse, kill them the first time they do it.

When our children were little, as parents we shared ways to get permanent marker off the wall, which pre-school was the best, and where to get a good deal on diapers. As our children move into their teen years, it’s more important then ever to be in communication with other parents, active in their schools, and aware of our teens environments, influences, and friends.

As my daughters have grown into the teen years, we talk a lot, and often. When they want to talk, I drop everything and listen. It’s not always what I want to do when I have projects to finish, deadlines to meet, and a household to keep up with. But this is what parenting is. Usually the first 30 minutes is all small talk, then the real issues come up, and that’s when I have to tune in, forgo interrupting with judgment, listen, and then withhold my condescending parental lecture and focus on the teachable moment we have.

When you were in junior high or high school…
Were there drugs? Sure… but not pharmaceutical medications traded in the school hallway.
Was there alcohol? Of course…but we didn’t think to chase it with caffeine loaded energy drinks.
Was there sex? Yep…but not nearly as flippant and openly talked about; nor was it a social activity.
Were there fast cars? Oh yeah…but now more kids have their own and they are even faster.

Google high school pharm party and high school students dusting and you’ll find information that is alarming. The more you know as a parent, the better able you’ll be to ward off problems. Connect with other parents, learn what you can, become aware of what is influencing your teenager, and be prepared to talk and to listen. If you are a parent of a teenager, you can’t afford to be naïve.

© 2007 Anne Nelson Joy Zone, LLC