Wanna Be Like You

Rodney Atkins sings a song called “Watching You” and in it the lyrics remind us what our responsibility as a parent is to our children. We are to be role models. Our children grow up doing what they see us do because to them, what we do is normal, it’s all they know.

Yesterday I had a 45 minute fit of irritation. Other drivers were being stupid, the check out lady at the store was a chatter box beyond what I had time or patience for and I was late picking up my son at piano lessons. My daughter Ellen was with me for this 45 minute tirade. As we got into the car after our not-so-quick errand, I realized how unacceptable my behavior had just been. After I apologized to Ellen for my complaining and negative attitude, she threw some words back at me. “Yeah Mom, if it were us kids who were complaining like that, you’d of told us to focus on something else and get over it.” And she’s right. I would have done just that. Now it was my turn. Refocus, and get over it.

Sometimes as parents we have to acknowledge we don’t always do it all right. We do mess up. We have a responsibility to own up to our faults and to right our wrongs. If we don’t, our children will not grow up accepting ownership of their own destination or their own circumstances. If we fail to own our own faults, to work to fix them and apologize when necessary, then we can expect that our children will view their own faults and negative situations as the fault of someone else.

It’s work being a parent! We’re always “on stage” when it comes to being in the presence of our children. When you have one of those moments when you wish you had done it differently, when you know your behavior, your words, or your attitude was less than what you would expect from your children, take a deep breath, drop the superiority complex, and use the situation as a teachable moment with your child. Teach them to own their mistakes, to apologize when they’ve caused harm to another, and along with all of that, to forgive, and you do it by modeling the behavior.

When my son belts out Randy’s lyrics “…I’ve been watching you, ain’t that cool. I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you…” I am reminded, and yes, humbled at the responsibility I have to model for my children how to live.

© 2007 Anne Nelson, Joy Zone, LLC