Sleepless Nights of Parenthood

I vividly remember driving down Western Ave. toward 26th St. on my way to the pre-school with my two little girls in the back seat on a beautiful fall day. The radio was on and the announcer made the comment that the toddler years were just training for the teenage years. If parents of toddlers thought they weren’t sleeping now, they can bet they’ll sleep less when their kids become teens.

It’s becoming clear to me how right that announcer was. It’s two in the morning and I can’t sleep. My thoughts are flooded about my kids; what they’re doing this week in school, the changes their friendship circles have gone through, how different my girls are from each other, many memories of growing up. I couldn’t stop the flow of thoughts and finally, I just had to get out of bed and write.

You’ll get the short version tonight because I really do hope to fall asleep.

Karin was in the afternoon Kindergarten class with Mrs. Ziebell, a teacher she adored. One fall afternoon, when I dropped her off at school, a little late, after she got out of the car and I wished her a good day in school. She indignantly turned around stomped her foot, thrust her two fists at her sides and growled at me “It’s not okay to be late for Kindergarten Mom!” In a huff she turned around and ran into the building.

Here we are ten years later, and now she’s a strong-willed teen who still hates to be late for anything. Other mother’s joke about how she’s the mother hen of her friendship circles, the one who has to fix everything, makes all the plans, and can’t tell a lie no matter how hard she practices. But our recent trip to Minneapolis for the college fair reminded me how much she still needs us parents.

The three of us mothers were following our daughters into the coliseum. The girls were several paces ahead of us and very much in their own world. Becky commented “I don’t think these girls are going to need us here.”

I smiled and said “Oh, no, when Karin sees 23,000 students here she’s going to scream “MOMMY” and come running.” And almost on cue, as the girls rounded the corner to the entrance, Karin whipped around, “Mommy!” she screeched and came running at me.

It was such a funny moment, and yet, deep down, I was thinking, “she still needs me.”

Perhaps my mind is racing with memories of my kids tonight because my girlfriend called to tell me her first born just had her first born and she’s a grandma now. No matter how old your kids are, they need you. No matter how old they are, you’ll have sleepless nights. What ever point in life you are with your kids, they need you.

We weren’t put here as parents to mold our children, we are here to provide the loving and joyful environment that allows and enables them to grow into the people they are intended to be. Whether it’s your six year old or your 16 year old that calls out “Mommy!” know that you will always be needed.

That being said, I do wish you as many peaceful nights of rest you can nab. You never know exactly when you’ll be needed and it’ll be your turn to be up at night!

© 2007 Anne Nelson, Joy Zone, LLC